Things Have Changed-1

A little over a month ago, I wrote A Day in the Life post for February. I thought I would try to write one once a year for posterity sake. It’s a nice way to add in another post during the slow times that occur during the winter.

But then, Tyler and I got sick. And I didn’t finish taking the pictures for the post or editing it.

And then, even sooner, a lot changed. It didn’t feel like it was relevant anymore.

Our schools closed, leaving Tyler with time to start working on the house projects and me to work on my projects (no spoilers for my upcoming posts). All of a sudden, I had two months of blog posts in my queue and we’d only been isolating for a week.

There are a few things I’ve been thinking about that I want to write down about this experience. In a reminiscent “A Day in the Life” type of post. I feel like this is the beginning of a slightly different world.

I also feel like I’ve lived through many monumental changes in my short 35 years. I recall the first War in Iraq as a kid watching the news. The AIDS Crisis-I actually made a story about a witch that cures AIDS in 1991 when I was seven (except I thought AIDS was called EGGS and there was quite a bit of confusion with my school teacher as to whether or not I understood the assignment when I was adamant that I wanted there to be a cure for a disease called EGGS). The Oklahoma City Bombing. 9/11. The first Black President of the US. The Supreme Court legalizing gay marriage.

I’ve certainly lived through other important national and world events, but these stick out to me as times when I felt like the world was different after. Perhaps even like I was different after.

So I’ve decided to collect my thoughts (as they come) here and periodically publish them as my A Day in the Life post that may, in fact, last several months. These will be additional posts to the regular Sunday content, added as needed to suss out my feelings.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Things are starting to get a little crazy on the coasts. I have a dear friend in LA and the things she is telling me about what is happening and the restrictions being put in place are starting to make me wonder. Do I need to stay a step ahead for when these things start to happen here? I made my regular trip to the grocery store, but it was a zoo. Almost everyone there was over 60 and filling carts to the brim. You could barely walk around. I bought one package of toilet paper…just in case.

I will say, I’m feeling a bit irritated. We’ve had a very rough flu season this year with a lot of adults and kids sick. People continue to send their kids to lessons and school despite having fevers and continue to go to work themselves. I’m frustrated that our society seems to care about this virus and supposedly protecting people like me from it; but they don’t give a rats ass about how they are spreading other illnesses that are also dangerous but perhaps less popular because they have been around for so long. I automatically feel a lot of the posting and pleading healthy people are promoting is disingenuous. And then I feel badly that I have such little trust in people. When people change their tune, no matter how late or after how many things they have done, we should celebrate the shift in thinking. I’m trying. I’m still too much of a skeptic.

Sunday, March 15, 2020

The Governor of Iowa (Kim Reynolds) has done a 180. Last night she said she would not recommend closing schools. And tonight she changed her mind. She recommended closing schools for 30 days. Tyler has a meeting tomorrow morning at the school where he is suppose to pack up his belongings. I’ve decided to move my group lessons to pre-recorded videos and allow students to attend lessons via video or in-person one on one. I have no idea how I’ll be an effective teacher via video. But I have to try, I don’t want to lose my income. This is going to be an economic disaster for the country/world. I can do the frugal thing, I’m more experienced than most, I just don’t want to lose everything I’ve been working for all these years. My studio means so much to me.

Friday, March 20, 2020

I’ve been recording, converting and uploading videos non-stop all week. I’m concerned I’ll get the virus and then let my students down. So I’m working as fast as I can to get ahead of it all. My voice is so tired and painful from the hours of recording lessons I never want to speak again. This morning I took a break from recording and went to the grocery store during the immunocompromised hours. It was more calm than last week, but a lot wasn’t available. No bread flour. No tater tots. No bleach. Restrictions on things like bread, milk, eggs, potatoes…I was the youngest person there. The checkers were wearing gloves. I felt exposed. I felt frantic. My friend in LA has a stay-at-home order. So do nine other states. Our governor said she’d not issue an order like that. But, she said the same thing about the schools. I went to three stores and the bank and spent over $300 in case we are ordered to stay home. It took three stores for me to even find a bag of yellow onions.

Someone I know had a friend die from pneumonia caused by the virus. The person who died was 34. He dealt with asthma as a child, but had “outgrown it.” This news is affecting me. What if my body isn’t strong enough?

Saturday, March 21, 2020

I’ve decided to switch to video lessons entirely. I might lose some students this way. Some won’t have the bandwidth. Some won’t have reliable internet. Some just won’t want to pay for video lessons. But a long time ago I promised both Gus and Tyler I wouldn’t ever leave them alone. By isolating myself, it feels like maybe I am honoring this promise of not dying while they are alive. I realize this is a bit dramatic, but I feel that I’m approaching it in a practical way.

Contrastingly, I also feel like a useless member of society. During WWII, everyone banded together to do their part and their duty. I can’t do anything. I can’t deliver meals on wheels, I can’t make PPE, I can’t spend money at other local businesses. I’m one of the people others are trying to protect by never ending social media posts about staying inside. I’m also one of the people others feel they can dismiss because only a small bit of the population will die or suffer serious complications from the virus. I catch myself feeling demoralized a lot about this. I don’t care for either story-line. They are both dehumanizing. They both make me feel like a burden.

I know we are suppose to be supporting local restaurants, but with an income that could stop at any moment, I can’t afford to take the chance of spending extra money ordering out.

I feel in my element at the house. Now that my videos are all uploaded, I can be more of a housewife. Keep the place tidy, cook rounded meals, take Gus for long walks. Yes, moving to all video lessons is a good idea. It takes the worry of a looming stay-at-home order out of the picture. I’m wondering if perhaps I was a housewife in another life. It comes easily to me.

This new week will bring changes everyday. I’m so glad I have Tyler and Gus with me. I’d be so lonely without them. They are good people. Even though one is a dog.

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